I had an epiphany today. A real stop-in-my-tracks. "AH DUH" epiphany. If I ever thought I ever had an epiphany, boy, was I wrong! Today's sudden realization and enlightenment clearly proved those were, what I will call, "pseudo-epiphanies".

It took place today, about 12:25 or so, walking across a parking lot. I was on my lunch hour-. It isn't exactly an hour-it is 50 minutes long. I was playing substitute teacher for the day. I had walked over to a nearby coffee shop to obtain my favorite afternoon caffeine boost, and was returning back to my classroom. It was a gorgeous autumn day-warm, basking-in-the-sun delightful! As I cut across the parking lot, I ran the post-work afternoon schedule through my head, "dance rehearsal for Child A and rehearsal after. Pilates for me during her dance. Pick up a dinner on way home? No, finish off left over roasted chicken and have Child B bake the little golden potatoes/tell her to put them in oven about 6, after washing and poking with holes to vent steam". Really-this was all flying through my brain while walking across the lot, facing a CVS pharmacy. I was also plotting my next day's schedule, as IF I have any control over that! So far, it looked something like: "Yoga at 9. Get home, sew dance costumes rest of day. Pick up kids from school...." I sort of lost interest in the list when I thought back on yoga. "AHHHHH yoga..." I took a deep breath and exhalation, sounding like Darth Vader in the process. It felt great.

I started thinking back about a year or two ago, I would usually feel upset if I couldn't schedule a yoga class in everyday, all in a row. I think this was just carry-over from my OC self of old, when I was a competitive runner and then a cyclist. In those days, any work out missed made for a completely failed day. It all had to be incredibly physical, too. I would have laughed at yoga, deeming it way to slow. As I have grown, though, I have fortunately changed. I have come to realize that mind frame that lacks peace and is full of harm. I am full of gratitude and appreciation that I have been able to acknowledge this, change, and move on. Rest, listening to your body and gut feeling, intuition, inner teacher-whatever one recognizes it as-,SO very important! There is no point to doing oneself any harm.

So, there I am, thinking all these thoughts, walking across the parking lot, and thinking about my last visit to the yoga studio And then IT just dawned on me....

Hey, maybe I didn't frequent the physical "on-the-mat" practice this past week as much as I would have loved to (I hadn't felt that great, sort of like I was on the verge of getting sick, and I knew that pushing the envelope would push me right over the edge), but just because I didn't get to the yoga studio space to practice asanas doesn't mean I didn't, or couldn't practice yoga. There still are other components involved here! And it dawned on me: "Yes. Yes, I have been practicing "off the mat!"

Let me explain. You see, I have always thought,that I MUST be practicing asanas everyday in the most difficult or physically exhausting manner to be practicing yoga. But by just breathing (pranayama) in a mindful manner...I am practicing. By just being...being compassionate, by appreciating everything and one for what they have to offer in their own unique way with their unique fingerprint...I am practicing!

I immediately came to a halt (I was safely on a sidewalk by now), and I think my eyes must have been as big as saucers while my brain processed my realization. And now, hours later, this understanding makes my soul sing, warms my heart, and my mind marvels at how quite simple it is, and with such clarity. A definite "AHHH DUH" kind of moment. And while the thought was as light as a feather, it struck me with such weight, as if a Bosendorfer grand piano had dropped out of the sky, and on my head. This connection of dots has affected me more than I can communicate. I literally feel full of light. Now, I am not a religious person-not by any means. I do not attend church, and have not desired to further any of my Presbyterian roots from childhood Sunday School. The most serious I ever got about Sunday School was the obligatory memorization of the Ten Commandments in order to receive a leather-bound Bible. Being artistic and a visual person, I marveled at the gold edges the pages all had, and enjoyed both its illustrations and the illuminated letters in the special section labeled "Births", "Deaths", and "Marriages". Otherwise, it was, and still is, fictitious literature to me. But, that is what I think. And I fully believe that everyone else is free to worship that which resonates to ones soul. In fact, I still have that Bible, and I keep various letters, notes, and memorial service programs of loved ones who have passed on to their next session, in it. So, in some sort of way, the book is serving part of it's purpose.

The way that this entire parking lot experience has affected me, though, is that I truly believe there is some sort of higher power, and regardless of what one believes, or doesn't believe, it is out there in all of us, and we can all find it. Even if it is on your lunch time in the middle of the parking lot facing a CVS pharmacy.

I took a really quick trip up to San Francisco in order to visit the St. Vincent de Paul Help Desk on Ellis in preparation for "Discards to Divine". The annual event raises funds for the St. Vincent de Paul Society. This year's D2D will focus on the women and children of domestic violence. Bay Area fashion designers are invited to create new, divine haute couture, accessories, or home fashions from discarded clothing and other items from the StVdP in San Francisco. It is perfect for me-I have always delighted in sifting through what one person may call trash, and coming out with treasure!

RUN, fly, drive....do whatever it takes to see the Yves St. Laurant exhibit at the De Young Museum that is going on right now! My dear friend and fashionista/sewer in crime (at least noting fashion crimes, and we saw plenty on this adventure) went up to San Francisco yesterday and had a wonderful day! It was one of those rare SF days filled with sunshine and an incredibly agreeable temperature. Getting to the De Young was very easy-we took a special yellow bus (that sounds a bit...suspicious) MUNI has designated "The Culture Bus". It is MUNI bus #74x, and will transport one from the Yerba Buena stop in front of MOMA, through Union Square, Civic Center, and then out to Golden Gate Park, where one can be dropped off in front of the Aquarium or the De Young. Our individual tickets were $7.00 each and were "valid for travel on the date of issue on all regular municipal railway vehicles except cable cars or for other special even service" (I just copied that from the back of my ticket). Or, just keep the ticket to show the driver when you want to hop on the Culture Bus throughout the day! One note: the bus was not running on the schedule posted on the bus stop sign (no! you're kidding me!) . The pickup times are defined as every 20 minutes starting at 9:00 A.M. Our Culture Bus arrived at 10:10 A.M. (we got to the MOMA stop at 9:30), so just a head's up-you might still have time for that Peet's coffee from their shop a block away! I will figure out the links part of this system and put everything in, so you can get more in-depth details.

Anyway, back to Yves. OMG!, as my daughter's text messages often, and only, state. These incredible pieces of couture history were astounding, beautiful, and exquisite! I don't think words can really capture all the perfection and luxe of the textiles and surface embellishments utilized for the piece's creation. There are videos of fashion shows being run, featuring the garments on display, so one can see just how the piece moved on a body in motion. I personally loved the original sketches by the designer which were displayed near the actual garments. To be able for one to see how a piece of paper capturing the designer's ideas then come to life in fabric was a wonderful detail. Now, only if there had been "touch panels" available for all of us textilians (just like the 1997/98 "Structure and Surface: Contemporary Japanese Textiles" held at the SF MOMA) to feel... The urge to touch the exquisite beading, feathers, and hand-spun wool fabric was overwhelming, but I restrained myself. I can't really pick a favorite ensemble. They were all just confections! SO..go see it yourself!

Right now-and I mean RIGHT NOW-is a great time to visit the De Young as "Bouquets to Art" is on through 3-21-09. The Warhol exhibit is there as well, so this is just one museum feast for the olfactory and sight senses. You may even conjure up a memory or two, as you trip back in time to revisit where you were when you heard one of the songs from the many albums which covers were designed by Warhol. I know I did.